Codes versus Lifestyle

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Let me share my own life experience here in two stories :


Story One

I was reporting to a person who used to get admired by management for his dedication to work. He was a nice guy, and he used to push us to ensure delivery is done on time at any cost. This man had never been late to the office, even by a minute as far as I know. He had worked in California for almost a decade in the information technology sector. This person had received many awards and recognitions during his career. He seemed to be a satisfied and happy guy to the public of the organization. This man had learned how to bring a smile to his face. He had been working in this organization for over 8 years.


This brief about him would have appeared as a delightful story for most of us because it has dedication and success.


Now let’s get into more details.


The timeline of his deliverables had never been decided by seeking his opinions, whereas he and his team had been held accountable for timely deliverables. We knew that man had the right to accept or reject the proposed timeline. But we had not seen him rejecting any proposals. We had seen him getting angry and tensed frequently if there is slight slippage on timelines or the quality of the product. To support his commitment, most of us used to finish our day at around 12:30 in the night, and then we used to resume work at 10 in the morning.


 I am sure you would agree that your family wouldn’t like when you spend most of the time working for the office. This was the case with everyone, including my Manger. But he had just accepted this. He made it look normal. There was no motivation for me because i never felt completely involved in the project. I guess they did not value me there.


While having a conversation with my manager during a tea break, I asked, “Do you feel motivated working here?”


He laughed, “You would learn it gradually, Abhinav. This is my third decade in this profession. I just do it because it’s my job. I get a decent salary at month end to take care of my family, my children’s education, etc. I feel pressurized often but I know there is no way out. You have got to deal with it. This is how it is here and everywhere.”


I thought, “No! It can’t be so bad.”


Fortunately, I did not start my career with this kind of Professional Circle, else I would have also developed a similar kind of limiting coding that my Boss had. But unfortunately, there were almost 5 employees who had started their career with this professional circle and I could see they were also developing similar kinds of limiting codes.


I quickly realized if I continue to do what I was doing then, I would become exactly like him over sometime. And I never want to live that kind of life for sure.


So life moved ahead, and I left that job.


Now let me take you back to the days when I started my career.



Story Two

Here I had worked with a manager of different codes. This man used to come to the office at 10:00 am and was accustomed to leave the office between 6:00 PM to 7:00 PM. He had never committed to any deliverables and their timelines without performing detailed analysis and without getting inputs from his team members. He managed to get additional time for this analysis as well. Besides this, he never encouraged people to be in the office for long hours. We admired him for his approach. He also had a track record of delivering the best quality product in committed time.


 One day I asked him, “How do you bring the best out of everyone in your team without asking them to work for long hours.”



He replied, “Abhinav, I don’t know if you know I am a non-technical guy from the Army Background. I have experience in motivating human resources and getting the work done when life was at stake. This is just software work. I believe it is a much simpler job than what I had done in the Army. To get the best out of someone he needs to feel valued, passionate and motivated.”


Then he continued by giving examples, “I get inputs from you before taking any decision that impacts your work or deliverables. You feel valued because of this.” He questioned, “Don’t you Abhinav?”

I said, “Yes I do.”


Then he continued, “Before allocating the work I try to figure out what you are good at, which area are you passionate about. I consider this activity as the most important one. I invest a lot of my time and energy in this activity.”



While listening to him, I was just getting so inspired by his codes.



He added, “Abhinav, I ensure you are motivated by letting you know what you will achieve by finishing a piece of work on your committed timeline. I ensure rewards are provided in terms of appreciation email from senior management or recommending and financing you some certification that will help you develop your skills towards your passion. I keep reminding you about the importance of your family life and personal growth. These things are admired by everyone and it works.” He laughed as he says the last line, “These are tried and tested tricks.”  



I was just blown away by his confidence in the approach. A non-technical ex-army guy had become the best IT manager of a software company without knowing to write a single line of programming codes or without having much knowledge on the domain.



To me, he had been among the best Manager I have worked under so far during my corporate experience.


Now let’s analyze some of the Subconscious codes of these two persons based on their stories.


 First story’s manager’s Limiting Subconscious codes could be:

  1. He thought it’s very difficult to change his current state. So his code was developed as “Transforming his current state is very difficult.”
  1. He didn’t say “Yes!’’ when he was asked if he felt motivated. He said that he was getting a salary every month end to take care of his family. Since He already assumed that it’s very difficult to change his current state and he could not take any action to change it, he developed another limiting Subconscious code as “You can’t take action when you are stuck.”
  1. Another limiting subconscious code that he developed was “Money is everything”. He sacrificed his health, personal desires, and family time only for money. He thought money could buy happiness all the time.
  2. The Job Insecurity due to which he had rejected none of the proposals could be one of his limiting subconscious codes. It could be “I am not employable elsewhere. Or I can’t survive elsewhere”

The second story’s manager’s Empowering Subconscious codes could be:

  1. “Transformation is Easy”. This guy used to show faith in new employees by valuing their inputs and aligning them to the project goals quickly.
  2. He emphasized employee’s personal growth. His Subconscious code was “Personal Growth is important”
  3. He emphasized the importance of personal and family time. He never spoke of working for money. His Subconscious code was “Money is a byproduct of Personal Growth and skills”

 Now that you have read briefly about the approaches two different people have followed in their life within a similar environment, it is evident that developing a right set of Subconscious codes are the most important factor to build a purposeful, joyous, and healthy lifestyle for yourself and for others around you. To me, Professional Circle from my first job had helped me develop empowering codes. And I would always be grateful for it.



Recently I got to know that my ex-manager from story one has passed away. I am talking about the manager who used to make us work till 1 AM.


 I was just shattered by this news. I am sure you understand what I mean. We had worked together for months. I had known him personally. He was a nice, down-to-earth, simple man who died because he kept working under tremendous mental pressure for so many years, compromising his personal desires and health. He died at 47 because of a heart attack.



 He had a young family. I always pray for his family and his beautiful soul.


 I thank him sincerely for unknowingly teaching me so many lessons.



You would agree that a change in the limiting code of the person could have helped him live a much happier and healthier life. It could have saved his life as well. Imagine the impact of rewriting his code could have made on him, his family, and his close ones. He carried the limiting codes that he had acquired and it was getting passed on to his Professional Circle.


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